Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Implicit vs. Explicit

I've been thinking a lot lately about what my boys will be taking with them when they grow up and leave our home. The more I turn it over in my mind, the more convinced I am that they will learn almost everything they learn from me implicitly rather than explicitly. They will take more from what they observe, from what they know about my choices, from the ways they see me spend my time, from the way I speak to others, than they will learn from what I tell them or explain to them. I think back to what I learned from my parents, and I think I absorbed much more from the way my parents lived their lives than from what they overtly taught me. Growing up, I received an exceptional amount of Godly teaching, through Christian school, a strong, active youth group, and a home where Bible-reading and discussions about faith were frequent. I have no doubt that all of that was a blessing, but when it comes right down to it, it is the individual choices or my parents (and other influential adults), and the outcomes of those choices, that have had the greatest impact on who I want to be and how I want to live my life. In some ways, the realization that my implicit teaching carries so much more weight is very freeing. So, I'm not sure that a lot of the things I worry about in regards to parenting make a lot of difference. Maybe there aren't too many right or wrong choices I can make for my kids. I guess the best thing I can do for them is to honestly model what I believe matters most in life, and leave the rest up to God.

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