Funny Ethan

Ethan is such a funny kid. He makes me laugh out loud regularly with his shenanigans. So here's a post devoted to a few Ethanisms.
　
THE EATER
Ethan LOVES to eat. His teachers at church and his caretaker at the Rec Center say that he asks for snacks the whole time he is with them. And I know that he eats all day long with me. The other day, he skipped his afternoon nap, and then fell asleep on our way to Wednesday night church. I carried him in asleep and laid him in the nursery crib. I knew he would be a basket case when he woke up, but I hoped that he would sleep the whole hour. Sure enough, he woke up about twenty minutes later, completely inconsolable. His teacher and both children's ministers couldn't calm him down, but, thankfully, our good friend Mr. Al was teaching another class nearby, and he knew exactly which buttons might pull Ethan out of his meltdown. He gave Ethan a choice: "Calm down, go back in his class, and eat a snack, or keep crying and go find Mommy." Ethan choked back a couple more sobs and pointed to his classroom saying, "snack."

THE BLAMER
When anything bad happens in Ethan's world, it is always someone else's fault. The other day at a restaurant, Ethan was sitting in a high chair and he banged his head forward onto the table, completely on his own. But he immediately turned to his right and yelled at Wendi, who was unlucky enough to be seated there, "STOP DOING THAT! THAT HURT ME!" He can trip over his own feet running through the house, and amidst his wails on the floor can be heard, "BUBBA DID IT!"

THE LITERALIST
For about three months now, anytime someone addresses Ethan with any appellation other than his name, whether affectionate or inciteful, Ethan takes it literally and promptly disagrees. I say, "Come here, Buddy." And he replies with, "I not Buddy. I Ethan." He does it with adjectives, too. "Ethan, you are so cute," evokes "I not cute. I Ethan." And, of course, Ethan shoots down all name-calling with the same discussion-ending phrase: "I not _____. I ETHAN!"

THE DISTRACTOR
When Ethan does something wrong and he is being scolded, he interrupts the scolder with an excited look on his face, points off into the distance, and says something like, "LOOK, A BIRD!" or "OH NO, A BIG BUG!" Of course, there may or may not be a bird or bug or whatever else he has cooked up to distract the scolder, but his expression is so convincing that it almost always succeeds in delaying the scolding, at least for a few seconds.

THE REBOOTED COMPUTER
Ethan regularly falls asleep in the car seat, the stroller and even his high chair. Once he's asleep, there is only one way I've found to wake him up. Talking to him, picking him up, and even tickling him yield no results. I have to pick him up and set him on the ground standing up. As soon as his legs are supporting him, his eyes pop open and he is completely awake, and even in a good mood. It is funny to watch, because it looks like someone flipped a switch on to convert the lethargic, sleeping baby into a fully-functional, running and talking toddler, with absolutely no transition time. I want to get it on video tape soon.

I'm really glad that God made kids cute and funny...if they weren't, I'm afraid hardly anybody would procreate, and those that did would not be nearly as happy.