Friday, September 17, 2010

Pregnant Rachel

I wrote this post almost exactly a year ago. Now I am living it.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Morning Sickness Top 10 List

This morning sickness is going to be the death of me. Okay, not really, but it definitely feels like it right now. I've followed all the advice I can find out there, and I am still pretty miserable 75% of my waking hours. (And the other 25%, I am just waiting for the misery to re-assert itself.) Marcus is being a trooper. He takes over with the boys 100% of the time that he is not working, and he is even doing dishes and straightening up the house some after I collapse into bed each evening. And he spends his spare time researching ways to make me feel better with vitamins, home remedies and drugs. He has me taking vitamin B6 every morning and every night, which he brings to me in bed with a cup of ginger ale so I don't forget to take it.

I feel so sick that I haven't cleaned anything in my house (except dishes) for the past eight days. I feel so sick that I haven't left the house with the kids in the same amount of time. After Caleb asked me way too many times how long it would be until I felt better, I made a chart with 50 squares and put it on the pantry door. Every day that I make it through, I put a big X over one of the squares. There are X's over eight squares now. Yesterday, Caleb was standing in the kitchen staring at the chart. He shook his head and sighed, saying, "There are just so many squares." TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!!!!

I am doing my best to take one day at a time. A big part of that is taking my expectations down about 200 notches. I'm doing no cooking, absolute minimal cleaning, and no "extra-curriculars". (This is my last blog post until I feel better.) Any time I feel good enough, I do something fun or constructive with the kids. The rest of the time, they play together or on their own or they watch TV. This is so, so, so, so far below my normal parenting standard, but I really think just getting all three of us through this unharmed and unscathed will be an admirable feat.

Top 10 Reasons This Morning Sickness is the Worst of the Three

#10 We live in a much bigger house than we did when I was pregnant with Caleb & Ethan. In G'ville, I sat in our tiny living/dining/kitchen combo room on the couch with my puke bowl while 16-month-0ld Caleb played (or watched TV). Yeah, I felt bad about not playing with him, but he was always within sight. Now I spend a lot of time laying in the bathroom floor upstairs while the boys play all over the house. All the doors are latched and the house is as safe as I can make it, but I do not like them out of my sight for more than a couple of minutes.

#9 NOTHING tastes or sounds good to eat. Most of the time, I cannot think of a single food on the face of the earth that I want to eat. Rarely can I even think of a food that I think I will be able to choke down without gagging. (Yet, I must eat all day long to keep my stomach from getting completely empty, which = guaranteed vomiting.) So I gag down unappetizing food at least ten times a day.

#8 EVERYTHING smells bad. Well, almost everything. Peppermint and lemon are okay. Everything else: the fridge, the kitchen, the bathroom, the dogs, the car, clothes, pizza, any food, even the kids smell awful to me. I think I would be better off just breathing out of my mouth all the time.

#7 I have two kids who are hungry for all kinds of different things at all kinds of different times and just enough energy to give them what they want (and not enough to force them to eat on a schedule or prepare them healthy meals that they can take or leave). They are eating a lot of turkey meat & cheese, fruit, pb & j, and snack foods. It's not a terrible diet, but I think I am in the kitchen getting some type of food out for them about ten times a day. Since the sight of many foods makes me more nauseated, this is not pleasant.

#6 I feel so guilty that our lifestyle has changed so drastically. Just a little over a week ago, every day was an adventure for Caleb and Ethan and me. What would we do, learn, experience, see, explore?? Now I have to tell them "not today, sweetie, Mommy feels too sick" about 20 times a day.

#5 I'm missing fall. Fall is my favorite season. I love everything about fall. Now it is here and I am too sick to leave my house. (Even though I was sick the same time of year before, there is no fall in Florida, so nothing to miss.)

#4 I am dealing with the dynamics of a sibling relationship. My boys get along very well during our normal routines. But with me obviously feeling terrible and nothing being normal and very little structured time during the day, they are fighting more. I am normally very diligent about the way they talk to each other and treat each other, and I feel terrible when I hear them being cross with each other and I can't address it immediately.

#3 I thought of something for #3 when I was up sick last night, but I can't remember it now.

#2 My friend and I are in charge of the ladies' Bible class at church this fall (starting tonight). I have been so excited about the material for this class all summer, but the sickness has drained all of my creative ideas right out of my head.

#1 The number one reason that this morning sickness is worse than the others is because this morning sickness is making me sick right now and the others made me sick a long time ago.

In spite of this pity party, I have so many things to be grateful for, so I can't sign off without making a list of those:

#10 At least I am not traveling the Oregon Trail by covered wagon with six other children while pregnant and nauseated.
#9 I have a nice white toilet to puke in instead of an outhouse.
#8 I have the option of having my tubes tied after this instead of getting pregnant half-a-dozen more times in the course of my life.
#7 Marcus wants this third baby so much that he can pick up my slack without feeling resentful.
#6 My boys have a great play room full of toys that they enjoy to amuse them during the day.
#5 I am not potty training anyone right now.
#4 I have plenty to eat, both in quantity and variety.
#3 All of my kids are healthy.
#2 We are going to have another precious, beloved member of our family!
#1 God is good.