Friday, August 28, 2009

Stepping Heavenward

I love to read. That might be the understatement of the century. Before I had kids, I would read for hours on end whenever I had the chance. It was not unusual for me to read 3-4 books in a week. I still read 2-3 every month, but it is much harder to carve out the time. In the course of a lifetime of imbibing many, many books, I have found hundreds that I love. But there have only been a handful that have had a significant impact on my life. In fact, the two works of fiction that have had the greatest influence on who I am are The Shack, by William Young, and Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. Most people have read or at least heard of The Shack, so I'm not going to elaborate on that one, but Stepping Heavenward is much more obscure. A friend recommended it to me, and I actually had a hard time finding a copy, even on Amazon (though it is there now). The book is written in the form of a diary. It is set in the early 1800's, and the narrator begins her story as a 16-year-old girl who is struggling to be the person that God (and her mother) want her to be. The book continues through her life, and the reader is allowed to see the gradual spiritual maturing of this girl-turning-woman.

Now, I admit that this book will likely not speak to as many people as The Shack did, but it spoke to me with unprecedented power. For me, this book infused a divine purpose into every trial and difficulty that I have faced, whether physical pain, relational frustration or more severe trials. It also brought divine purpose to every menial task and small sacrifice. I watched Katy's attitude toward serving and sacrifice change, and my own changed with it. Katy's mother teaches her that service and sacrifice is in itself an end, not just a means to the end of "sharing Christ." The service and sacrifice IS sharing Christ.

Katy's journey also, in combination with several studies from the book of Job and some long conversations with my Dad, gently brought me to the place of realizing that my children belong wholy and completely to the Lord. This book helped me move to a previously incomprehensible place in my heart...a place where I now truly believe in regard to the ones I love, "The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord." I have never lost someone close to me, and I am not saying that I would handle it without becoming angry with the Lord. But in the past, there was a portion of my heart that I kept entirely locked away from the Lord. It was as if I had unconsciously put my dearest ones in a lockbox and put a sign on it saying, "If you touch this, I will no longer love you and trust you." But the Lord worked in my heart through this book and other avenues to stamp this truth on my heart: "Trust me with what is dearest to you, my child, and I will sustain you through whatever may come."

I really could write for hours about the spiritual truths the Lord used this book to teach me, but I think I'm going to stop here. I don't know if I would have taken as much from Katy's story at an earlier stage in my life. I think I would have needed more life experience, particularly that of motherhood. If you are a woman, I think that you will be, at the very least, touched by Katy's story. And, who knows, maybe God will use her story to change yours, as well.

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