Just Spit It Out

I'm usually a very expressive and sometimes even outspoken person, but there are times when I'm just as tongue-tied as can be. It seems like this tongue-tied state overtakes me when I have something that I really want to say, but am not confident that I will be understood. For example, there have been a number of times in my life that a person has had a significant impact on me, and I wanted that person to know how God has used them in my life, but I get all tongue-tied when I have the chance to talk about it. A couple of times, I have written a letter, but a letter seems so serious and formal, and I'm always afraid that my words will not be adequate. (I should just realize that of course they won't be adequate and get over it.) I guess the point of this blog entry is to encourage my readers (and myself) to just "spit it out" and tell the people around you how they have inspired you, even if you don't do it perfectly. (You probably shouldn't follow this advice if the person inspired you by showing you what you didn't want to be like.) Seriously, we all need to hear that the efforts we make to serve the Lord and serve each other are helpful to the people around us.

So now I'm going to follow my own advice and write about my friend, Lauren, who is one of the people who has had a significant impact on me. Lauren and I became friends when Marcus and I moved to Florida in the summer of 2003. That fall, she and I both started trying to get pregnant for the first time. It happened immediately for her and Danny, but it took us another two years, so Lauren became a mother two years before I did. My observation of her interactions with Carson as a baby and toddler laid the groundwork for the kind of mother I would become. She was extremely attentive to Carson, from infancy on. Even when spending time with friends, she made it clear by her actions that Carson's needs, physical and emotional, were a priority. I respected that because I had seen other parents consistently ignore their children in social situations. It doesn't take long for kids to pick up on that and take advantage of the "permissive window." Even when Carson was just a toddler, Lauren spoke to him as if he were a much older child, and as a result, he understood (and obeyed) more than most children his age. She took all of his little communications very seriously, from baby sign language to his first little sentences. She held a high standard for his behavior, and began teaching him about being kind to others even before he could talk. She often put aside what she was doing when a teachable moment presented itself. Until her second child was born, I never saw Lauren deny Carson a request to play with him or read to him. By her constant availability, she communicated to him that he was an extremely important and valuable part of her life...never an inconvenience. When Carson's sister, Kennedy, was born, Lauren struggled (like every young mother) with balancing the needs of two young children, but even this she weathered with grace. Now her children are ages five and three, and the she's expecting her third this fall. I have no doubt that she will continue teaching her children that they are loved, respected and cherished by her example; I also have no doubt that she will continue teaching the young mothers around her what it means to lay aside their own lives and desires to nurture love and self-control in the hearts of their children.

Thank you is insufficient for the way God used you in my life, my friend. And I know that you, like others in my life, had no idea what an impact you have made, because I was always too tongue-tied to start telling you :)