Preschool

I posted back in the fall about Caleb starting an MDO/preschool program. The school year came to a close last week, and now seems like a good time to do an overview of this experience. As you may remember from a much earlier post, I wasn't too sure about the whole MDO/preschool thing that was is so much a part of the culture here. We decided to try it because Caleb was acting anti-social at times (as a 3 1/2 year old), and because he started becoming very resistant to some of the homeschooling activities we were doing at home. He started in mid-October going Tuesdays & Thursdays from 9:30 am to 1:30 pm. For the first few weeks, he really enjoyed it, and he started acting better at home as well.

Unfortunately, somewhere in mid-November, he and his teacher started misunderstanding each other. Caleb is slow to transition and also processes directions more slowly than many children. This was causing him a problem at school because he would respond/transition slowly and the teacher would get frustrated with him. Eventually, he got it fixed in his head that the teacher couldn't be pleased, and he quit trying to cooperate. I didn't realize that all this was going on, because Caleb just stopped talking about school. Caleb is not a talkative child, and I chalked up his silence about school to his normal reticence about many things. Then, in January, I spoke to his teacher about another matter, and she told me that he had been acting out in class since mid-November. (That sounds like a really long time, but we are only talking about 6 or 7 half-days in school, since he was only going twice a week). Nevertheless, I was chagrinned to be hearing that this had been an ongoing problem, one I wished I'd had the opportunity to address when it first started. That day in January, I spoke with Caleb about his behavior at school. Through our conversation, I began to understand what had happened in his relationship with his teacher. He told me that she tells him to do too many things too fast and he can't remember them, and then she gets mad at him. He also kept repeating that she didn't like him because he wasn't a good boy like Shep or Matthew or whoever. He was absolutely convinced that he was incapable of pleasing her.

In an ultimately successful attempt to turn this train around, I had a long phone conversation with his teacher. I shared with her that Caleb processes things a little more slowly than some other kids, and that, as a result, he had gotten it into his head that she didn't like him. We collaborated on a plan to change his perception. Every day at school, his teacher made an extra effort to be sure he understood each instruction that was given, as well as to praise him for his successes. Then she filled out a little check sheet that I made, indicating to me that he was cooperative, positive, and helpful each day. When he brought home a check sheet full of "yes's" to me, he received a reward. Within two weeks (four days of school), his behavior had completely changed. His teacher called me with a glowing report of a what a bright, helpful, cooperative child he was. We soon abandoned the check sheets, and he started chatting cheerfully about school once again.

For the remainder of the school year, I called his teacher every few weeks to make sure everything was still going well. She continued to give me glowing reports. I do very much regret that Caleb spent almost two months feeling like a "bad kid" at school before I realized what was going on, and I will take from this experience that silence about school is a bad thing, and not calling the teacher because I don't want to bother her is not doing anybody any favors.

Caleb finished out the school year a few weeks ago, and he still asks me several times a week when school will start again. And, thanks to the generosity of his Nanna and Papa, I can tell him that he will be able to go back to school in the fall to attend K4 four mornings a week!