Insightful Moment

Yesterday, we spent the morning at a friend's pool. We haven't been swimming much since our trip to Florida because Caleb got burnt out on wearing sun screen while we were on vacation. Since then, every time we have been invited for a pool play date, I have asked the boys if they wanted to go, and Caleb has consistently declined (and convinced Ethan to do the same). Today, I decided that we really needed to go again before summer is over, so I didn't give him a choice.

All the way to the pool, he talked about how much he doesn't like sun screen and how much it burns his face and his eyes, and how he really doesn't want to go to the pool. When we arrived, I put sunscreen and hats on both boys, and they jumped in the pool. Sure enough, the first time Caleb's eyes hit the water, he started wailing that the sun screen was burning his eyes. I truly don't know how much is drama and how much is real discomfort, because I only put the sunscreen on his nose and on his face up to just above his cheekbones, staying clear of just under his eyes and his forehead (since he wears a hat). I think it is actually the chlorine that is stinging his eyes, but he thinks it is the sunscreen, and nothing can convince him otherwise.

So Caleb spiraled down into a full-out angry meltdown about the sun screen. Public meltdowns have been few and far between with Caleb, but this one was a doozy. I picked up a furious Caleb, placed him in a lounge chair and told him to stay there until he was done with his fit. He wailed that he wanted to go home and stated vehemently he would NOT stop crying unless I took him home RIGHT NOW. I told him that we were not going home because we had just arrived and Ethan and I were going to have a good time, whether he chose to or not. He kept crying loudly, so I told him that he could cry quietly as much as he wanted to, but if he continued to disturb everyone around with his crying, he was going to get a spanking. He lowered the volume right away and soon ceased crying altogether (since most of the motivation was disturbing everyone around him).

Ethan and I were having a blast in the kiddie pool and on the splash pad, and, after a while, Caleb piped up with: "Mommy, why don't you and Ethan go somewhere else and I will stay here." I knew he was wanting to get up and play, but he didn't want to be observed swallowing his pride. He watched us for a few more minutes, and then he finally got up and played happily with all of us for the next three hours. I had almost forgotten about the original incident when we were packing up our stuff to leave, until Caleb initiated this conversation:

Caleb: Mommy, you were right earlier.

Mommy: About what, son?

Caleb: You know, when I was crying? You were right that going home was not the best choice. I stopped crying and I had a lot of fun.

Mommy: Yes you did, Caleb. I'm very proud of you for getting control of yourself and changing your attitude. It is very hard to do that, but you did it.

Caleb: Yes, I did. Sometimes I am stronger than I know I am.

Mommy: (chuckling) Yes, you are, my son. Yes, you are :)