Stubborn Morning

As I've mentioned, Caleb is generally a compliant child, but he has his days. We had one of those days on Monday. Monday is our grocery shopping day, and the boys love to go grocery shopping because I always let them get a free cookie from the bakery at Publix. We were all getting ready to leave, and I said to Caleb, "Son, please pick up those toys and put them back in the basket before we go." Usually, he would pick up the toys without a word. Not today. He fell crying on the floor, wailing that he didn't want to pick up the toys. I calmly reminded him that what he wants is not the most important thing, and that it is his job to clean up toys when Mommy asks him to. (These are phrases he hears many, many times each week.) The fit continued. I saw that he was losing control of himself in his emotional storm, so I tried another tactic that has worked before:

"Caleb, do you like crying? Is it fun?"
"NOOOOO!" (wailing)
"Who controls your crying? Who makes it stop and start?"
"CAAA-LEEEBBB!!" (wailing louder)
"Well, then, why don't you make the crying stop since you don't like doing it?"

Sometimes, he chokes back a couple of sobs and gets control of himself, but not this time. Running out of resources and time, I sighed and made a decision to put the morning's plans on hold to see this battle to the end.

"Caleb, I have asked you to pick up those toys. We are not going to go to the grocery store or anywhere else until you do as I asked. You are also not allowed to play with other toys or read books until you pick those toys up. In addition, all of your crying needs to take place upstairs in your room, because Ethan and I do not want to listen to it."

I repeated my ultimatum, just in case he hadn't heard me completely. Then I carried him upstairs and put him in his room to finish his fit.

It has been a long time since Caleb pushed me this far, and I really didn't know what to expect. What ensued was another hour-and-a-half of coming downstairs tear-free, being reminded to pick up the toys, and then being carried back upstairs, wailing pleads and protests. (He was particularly upset when he came down and Ethan and I were having snacks without him.) Finally, after the third or fourth round of this cycle, he came downstairs and said, "I real, real, real angry...but I gonna pick up the toys now." And he did. Every single one.

After he was done, he was immediately cheerful again, and ready to go to the grocery store. He was very disappointed when I explained that all of his crying and waiting had used up the time we were planning to go shopping. But he accepted the natural consequence pretty well, and I think that he understood his responsibility for it.

I'm glad these kind of days are very few and far between!