Many, many times during my life, I have wished that I did not feel things so intensely. But that is how God made me, and unless he chooses to intervene, I imagine I will go to my grave vascillating between the heights and depths of strong emotion. This afternoon, I am grieving for someone that I don't even know. Her story was relayed to me by a close friend. It is not a new or surprising story; in fact it has been told many times before, but that does not diminish its pain for everyone involved. It is the story of a marriage destroyed by one person's belief that happiness is attainable by discarding his original life partner for a new one. My friend described to me the devastation that is occurring in this family, and I have spent some time reflecting on this all-too-common scenario.
I think the root of the problem is the belief that we are entitled to our hearts' desires. Most Christians would agree, at least in an intellectual conversation, that no person should have all or even most of his or her wants fulfilled. But when it comes right down to it, we are in the habit of self-gratification. When we want a new "toy", we scrounge up the money to buy it. Even if it takes a while, we still expect to get it eventually. The culture of our nation boasts that anybody can achieve and attain anything with the right combination of ambition and hard work. The Preamble to our Constitution describes the "pursuit of happiness" as an inalienable right. "You deserve it, so do what it takes to get it," seems to be the status quo.
Back to the family I mentioned in the beginning...in the midst of this culture of desire/strive/attain, it is no wonder that when confronted with the potency of mutual attraction, many people barely attempt to deny themselves. Even in the church, we lack a healthy dose of "I'm sorry, but no matter how much you want it, this may never be yours." Whether it is the desire for a career, a child, a status, a house, or a relationship, we often view its pursuit as good and respectable. We fail to realize that, sometimes, giving a desire to the Lord and accepting its indefinite unfulfillment is the higher calling.
Since I have been meditating on this weakness in our culture and in my own life, I am convicted of the importance of practicing self-denial as a spiritual discipline. I think restarting an old habit of regular fasting is a good place to start. I also want to amp up my efforts to teach my boys to handle unfulfilled desires on a daily basis. (They give me plenty of opportunity for this since it seems like I listen to a steady stream of requests from dawn to dusk.) I pray that the Lord will teach us all that He is the only one who can truly fulfill the longings of our heart.
Sorry for the sermonette, but every once in a while I cook one up, and since I'm a woman in the Church of Christ, this is my only preaching venue :)
3 comments:
Preach it, sister. Very well said. I cried about our neighbors getting divorced. So sad to watch. The only part of what you said that I disagreed with was when you said that when we want a new toy we scrounge up the money to buy it. I think it's worse than that. I think we pull out the credit card and charge it--instant gratification. It's a fast food culture, and it will be tough to guard our kids against just absorbing that mentality. But you're right, Anna gives me plenty of daily opportunities to teach her to wait or deal with disappointment. Definitely waiting can be higher calling. Well said.
I love your thoughts on this! I used to practice a regular fast also, but since babies, I don't think that I "need" to (for them)...Z. still nurses around 6xs a day, so maybe in year 2-3 of her life that will be a place I can go again. I wish you well on your journey. Those fasting days were very much a journey for me.
WOW. I needed to read that. Thank you.
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