Mothers Day Out, Preschool, Daycare...

So it's late January and Caleb will be three-years-old in two short months. Ever since we moved to Birmingham 7 months ago, people have been asking me where Caleb goes to "school". At first I explained that I didn't work, thinking they were asking about daycare. When it became clear that my explanation was not making sense, I assumed that they had grossly misjudged Caleb's age, and went on to explain that he was only two-years-old. I still got blank looks. It took several of these interactions for me to realize that here in Birmingham, EVERYONE, stay-at-home moms included, sends their kids to full or part time preschool starting between 18 months and 2 1/2 years. From what I can gather, preschool, unlike daycare, lasts from 9:00/9:30 am until 1:00/1:30 pm. The pattern seems to go something like this: 2 days a week at age 2; 3 days a week at age 3; and then 5 days a week until kindergarten. In Gainesville, no stay-at-home mom that I knew sent their children to preschool. Occasionally I would hear a working mom say something like "I picked [my two-year-old] up from school" and I would chuckle inside at the euphemistic use of "school" for "daycare". It wasn't until I was asked literally DOZENS of times here in Birmingham, "So where does Caleb go to school?" that I began to realize the cultural difference.

I still haven't gained a complete understanding of the preschool thing, but the best I can tell, the parental motivation is a combination of three things:
(1) To socialize their toddlers in a classroom setting.
(2) To allow the children to "get ahead" a little and be well-prepared for kindergarten.
(3) To give themselves some time during the week to run errands and get things done.

Now these all seem like reasonable things, and so I have turned the idea over in my mind many times for the past eight months. (The extra consideration it has recieved is largely due to the shocked look on the other mother's face when I finally get it across to her that Caleb is not in any sort of preschool program.) Here are my conclusions so far:

(1) Socialization: Caleb is with other children in church for an hour or two every week. We also attend a playgroup of some sort at least once a week. And we also have six other kids age 2-4 in our home during our church life group meeting every week. Plus, Caleb regularly plays with other kids at parks, at the gym, and in his gymnastics class. This seems to me to be an adequate amount of social time, and I even prefer the fact that Marcus or I am present during many of these activities so we can teach and reinforce positive social interactions.

(2) Getting Ahead: As I have explored the idea of preschool, I have visited and called several locations. I have looked at different preschool curriculums and been unimpressed by the content. Everything I've seen in the written curriculums is something that Caleb has already mastered and that we review in various ways at home and in our play. In fact I haven't seen a 3-year-old curriculum (in my local search) that includes anything beyond letter-recognition (and mostly not even that). Like many children his age, Caleb has known his capitals for months and is now learning lower case, practicing phonetic sounds, and learning how to write a few capital letters. (Brag moment: he can write A, M, V, O, T and X). Though I see the value in reinforcing color, number and letter recognition, I do not see any advantage to doing that in a preschool setting vs. what occurs in the natural parent-child interaction of a home setting.

(3) Break Time: Though I can definitely identify with the convenience of having 8-12 hours a week with only a baby vs. a preschooler and a baby, I'm not convinced that it is advantageous overall. I'm very practical about things like this, so this is how I see it. I have the boys on my own for about 60 hours a week (6 am to 6 pm, M-F). On average, Caleb naps for a total of about 12 hours during that time. So that leaves me with 48 hours each week. A preschool program would have him for 8-12 hours a week, which is 15% to 25% of my total "work week". Seems a little excessive for a break. Also, I lose all of those hours with Caleb, during which I could have been continuing to teach him the things that most matter to me: showing kindness to Ethan, helping with chores around the house, praying through moments of frustration, etc. Plus, I think it is good for him to go on errands with me and learn to wait patiently in the checkout. I think I already messed things up a bit with him by avoiding doing chores or anything else while he was awake during his first 18-months of life, hence giving him the impression that life revolves around him and everyone should do whatever he wants to do at the moment. We are slowly rectifying that now, but I think part of that correction is having him participate in the not-fun things as well as the things he enjoys.

Well, these are my thoughts and the summation of why I have not yet attempted to carve out the $125-$200 a month for 2-day-a-week preschool, even with the fall registration deadlines of mid-February fast-approaching. Regardless, I am blogging about it today because, clearly, everyone I've talked to around here thinks that I am costing Caleb something significant by depriving him of the preschool experience. If any of you have more insight into this than what I have surmised, I would enjoy your input. Or if any of you have come to the same conclusion as me, I could always use a little reinforcement from my all-over-the-country friends, since my Birmingham friends seem to be all of one mind.