Blessed

The past few weeks, I've been acutely aware of how blessed I am to have my two boys. When I think back to the years of infertility and all of the uncertainty that haunted me during that time, I am awed by how God has blessed me. Even though many things about having two young children are challenging, frustrating and exhausting, I am somehow staying above that mentally and remaining much more aware of how incredibly precious the boys are. Most days, I feel at peace and content for the majority of the day. That is something that I could not have said very often in my adult life. Even when Caleb was an infant, I was often ridden with anxiety about doing everything "right", and that robbed me of fully enjoying him. Now, as I'm sure all first-time mothers do, I've learned that there is no ordained formula that is "right", and everything about parenting is trial and error, so I'm a lot more relaxed this second time around. I was also very burdened by the barrage of advice when Caleb was a baby, and now it just slips right off me because I have a lot more confidence in my mothering skills. In many ways, it is more fun to care for two than for one. (The exception to this is when they both really need me or really want to be held and I have to choose.) But other than that, Caleb enjoys Ethan so much, and Ethan loves watching Caleb. I enjoy watching their relationship blossom and encouraging the love they will have for each other. Don't get me wrong, there are certainly times when I think I can not take another minute, but I am just awed by the many hours that go by where the three of us are in harmony and thoroughly enjoying being together. God has truly blessed our family in so many ways this year. We are thoroughly enjoying Marcus's much more relaxed schedule and have already gotten used to doing things as a family every weekend. We often joke about this being our first taste of "normal" life in the six years we've been married (work M-F from 8-5), and we are LOVING it!